Quite the Character

"Reputation is for time; character is for eternity." -J. B. Gough

Reputation is defined as "the estimation in which a person or thing is held, especially by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation." (Bold emphasis added by me.)

Interesting second word there. Estimation. Also interesting? "... by the community of the public generally." Reputation is how the public estimates you to be. And we all know that the public always has a good judge of character, right?

Ah, but character? It can be defined as "one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual." (Again emphasis added by yours truly.)

I don't mean to pick on any one person in particular, but this one was the first to pop into my head regarding this. That person? A certain famous golfer who hasn't been playing much golf recently. His reputation prior to Thanksgiving 2009 used to be that of a great golfer with a beautiful family who kept his private life his private life. And then? Well, we all know what happened.

The point of this isn't to bash or judge anyone. The point is to say that there can be a disconnect between what we are and what people think we are. It's very easy to put on a public person of ______ only to really be _______ in private. You can have a good reputation but bad character, bad reputation but good character, bad both, or good both. While it's impossible to control what others think of you (short of Jedi mind tricks), what we can control is who we are. We can control our character. The choices we make when the public isn't watching ultimately defines who we are. Who we are around those closest to us defines who we are.

The quote from J. B. Gough is a good one, because it presents us with a choice. Do you care more about reputation - putting on a good face for the public? Or do you care more about character - leaving a lasting impression on your family and friends? Now that I have a daughter and another due in November, the idea of leaving a lasting impression takes on even greater meaning. What do I want them to remember about me? It won't be whether I bought them whatever cool toy they wanted. It won't be whether I bought them a car. It won't be what those in my professional field say about me. It will be how much I loved them, how much I cherished them, how much time I spent with them, how I loved my wife, and what lessons they learned - not from what I said to them, but from how I lived my life. A strong character is an investment that pays eternal dividends.

-D